Thursday, March 26, 2009

SXSW ENDS HORRIBLY



photos taken, scanned and dealt with by mikaylah bowman

MARCH 17th 2009

it's tuesday the 17th and i pick matthew lyons from the hell style airport. the jetblue nyc flight delivers 1,000 disgusting freaks and i am shocked at all the floppy cowboy hats and unshaved baby faces that appear outside the port.

i pick up matt and we then pick up duncan at 11ish. less humans exist.

we all pick up our pointless wristbands and proceed to "miss beas" where we play a horrible show at like 5pm to about 11 humans. the set is weird and off. we quickly leave and go eat at thai kitchen. i bow to too many waiters and we show up to the "new guild" hippie commune to play a house show.

duncan has sea hag hair
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duncan has sea witch hair
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our set is the best of sxsw and not enough freaks got to hear it even though the room was packed with small piglet babes. i try to blast out noise but it works slightly.

everyone is bored beyond fiction or fact
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later at that same party cult ritual dogs show up and tommy places his penis so it stands straight up. it was shocking and sexy.

the vivian girls cover wavves at least 3 times and i can't stop twittering

matt lifts royce
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later that night i freak out and get wendys with mikaylah. natalie comes with us and later nothing of interest occurs so she takes a cab and matt lyons stops by for one millisecky.

i fall asleep to friends episodes. i'm on season 2.

MARCH 18th 2009

i awake early and pick up homefreak jeff witscher. i had never met this guy before but upon scooping him he turned out to be one of the nicest freaks i have ever met. good dude. we crawl back to the crib and so begins my day of nothing but hell stress.

a day full of trying to grab the worst drum kitss and spending 60 dollars on weird drum kit extras. duncan and s.e. will buy a schlotskeez sandwitch and then we gett to 1808 just as everyone starts to freak and cry tears of pure rage.

white dog plays an d i am beyond happy with the outcome. no one likes it because we are trying too hard to be weird and i can't play inept noise drums all that well.

secret abuse blasting


secret abuse bursts mikaylah's ear into pure liquid blood. mikaylah's ear bleeds for days.

cult ritual


total abuse accident


gun outfit is the best sxsw band and everything ends stress free. i fall asleep watching friends. i'm a mix of chandler and rachel.

MARCH 19th 2009

the day begins free of all stresses and we travel to a general taco slop shop to eat. good stuff. pretty good.

free of stress?
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we all decide to swim and burn:

MAN
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WOMAN
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we get kicked out for drinking glass milk bottles and then sadly drizzle down to red 7 to play a weird show. i sit outside red 7 with mikaylah and freak out at the insane sights. too much for heart or mind to witness. shock shit.

gears
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ryan fos
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we all play and then matt and mikaylah and i fall asleep for hours.

we wake up and go to ballet austin. millions of 6th grade babies with headsets are controlling the show mommy gave them. tons of powerful annoying geeks running around. we let coconuts play with half our set then we slowly come on.

duncan is in mental hell and begins mentally controlling himself.

unstable ideas
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no damages
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i try to break a big plate glass window with the mic stand but the mic cord isn't long enough. true sadness.

we play mutt and i stand up on some thing and act strangely theatrical.

plays
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some are bummed and one kvrx cry baby tries to yell at me so he gets slightly kicked by me
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i jump down like a true pussy and run out the door just as all our amps get shut off. i just sit around and wait. we leave fast. i watch friends and notice some things i like about ross.

MARCH 20th 2009

stress free morning. we meet up with jeff and cult ritual freaks. we spend all day sitting on the front porch and watching tommy's dick stand on end and also talk enough shit to last the day.

hours later we go to 1808.

cult ritual
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total abuse
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i get so drunk i almost write a good review of the newest wavves lick but end up just eating gallons of meat. charlie argues with brace for years and wins. i noticed charlie has normal glasses in comparison to brace's giants.

jeff mikaylah and i go home and i watch more friends than most. everyone parties on the bridge but i am a pussy...

duncan apparently goes up to some kid with a small pony tail:

duncan: hey your pony tail makes you look like a pansy

pone kid: what?

duncan: i said your pony tail makes you look like a bitch

pone: arent you duncan knappen?

duncan: huh?

pone: i saw you in a skate video arent you duncan?

duncan: don't ever say my fucking name again. don't fucking look at me.

true comedy jams

end of true sxsw activity

days later spent watching too much tv and other people yelling at humans. someone goes to the vice party and possibly does cocaine. i am unaware of life or parties. just friends occurs.



end sxsw forever

1 comment:

Millineries said...

Hitting your forehead with a microphone so hard that there's a bruise in the middle where it looks like a horn got cut off.